Narcissistic mom & sister story

I wrote this over 2 years ago, (2020) and now publishing it. I am now 62 and married 25 years.

Jan 11,2023

It's all done. It is finally the past now. I just learned that I haven't been the problem after all and reading recently about NPD & Narcissistic families, Bingo, there was my mom & sister Patricia. I was mailed documents about an Irwin family trust & my sister took me out of it. That's how I learned Shirley (mom) died in Nov 2019. I never thought me being 60 now that I wouldn't be there at my parent's funerals. Yep, I wasn't told either that my dad died in 2013.

I have 4 other siblings and we haven't spoken or seen each other since 2010. (I will explain below). For the first 50 years of my life, my family was everything to me, everything. I grew up being called stupid, or I wouldn't amount to anything, or no one will want me and so on. In 2010, my 2 nieces (Patricia's daughters) showed up here unannounced and in tears over their mom. They said Patricia was being abusive with them, locking them out of the house at night and telling them all the time that they owe her. My nieces found a meth pipe & meth in the bathroom and knowing their mom had a drug problem, wanted us to intervene.

A few days later I went to my mom's house where Patricia was doing care giving for my parents and I wanted to hear her side of the story. Patricia went from zero to rage in 2 seconds and literally punched me with a closed fist in my face but did it as a coward from behind me. As we both dropped to the floor and was rolling around like 2 wild dogs in front of my parents, my parents sat on the couch with the t.v remote, flipping through the channels and not telling Patricia to stop. I realized then that this family is hopeless, so I decided to walk away and not look back. I guess my mom & Patricia told the other siblings some story for them not to call me and ask about my side of the story, or if I was okay.

After reading about NPD & Narcissistic moms & sisters, in their world I would be the scapegoat and or the black sheep. My other siblings are the silent child and enablers. I bawled my eyes out all the way home feeling unworthy, unloved, unprotected and like a piece of nothing. I felt like a 12-year-old again. I was broken & so hurt. A few months later, one of my aunts on my dad's side told me that all these lies & stories my mom & sis were telling other members of our family as "truths" were completely all lies. All those years I believed those stories as truth and now they were lies. at 50, I realized my life was one big lie thus adding to my brokenness.

Thinking my sister is crazy until I read about NPD & narc moms and then I couldn't blame it all on Patricia. She had to learn it from someone, so in walks mom. Patricia who appears very personable and put together is just a cover to the outside world and to her "flying Monkeys". Patricia has manipulated, lied, gossip, cheats anyway she can, steals, demands, controls to win whatever she thinks she is winning. Patricia has taken and took from my parents since she is the favorite or golden child of the family.

From bailing Patricia out of jail 3 times and loaning her well over $5,000.00 through the years, I was suckered for the last time. I actually thought when Patricia was all nice to me, maybe she was trying to change for the better. Forget about it. It won't happen. My sister Patricia has ruled the Irwin family when I lived at home. Always the center of attention. From being bulimic & hospitalized in her teens, Breast enlargement surgery, her son dying as an infant, to marrying & divorcing her 1st husband and accused him of abusing her & my nieces to where a few years down the road, she remarries him on a yacht and using his medical insurance for weight loss surgery and then divorced him again. The list goes on and on.

The documents I was sent were forged big time but I'm going to let it all go and I gave it to God. Patricia will have to answer to God when she stands before him, and He asks her "What good has you done in your life?". When she can't think of anything, God will throw her down to the fires of Hell forever. Umm, Patricia, you can't take money there.

Getting those documents brought back all the misery I felt growing up and realized as my siblings wait with bated breath for me to answer back, which I have 120 days to do so, I decided to send it off early, (10 days left) so I can finally close the Irwin family from my life. It hurt to mail out that letter but for the last 10 years, not hearing at all from my family has been the best thing ever for me. No drama, no gossip, no phone calls & no family get togethers.

I've been married 24 years and our family now is our 8 grandboys, my mix terrier Zoey and each other and Ron's adult kids from his other marriage. It feels good to pray for my family I had and can't wait for them to reap what they have sowed. I wish them nothing but truth and peace to come into their hearts and I never want to see them again, ever. Is that wrong of me? No Way!!!

Thank you for allowing me to write all this down. I feel free and I am so blessed in my life. I wish I would have walked away sooner.